A Fresh New Start

There is nothing wrong with making a new start in life and that is what I’m currently in the process of doing. I have started making recent changes that will proceed to take me on a new journey in life. It’s scary but at the same time I am ready for these changes, I started to make an effort towards a more peaceful, exciting, and full of self-love and positive energy. With every new phase in my life, I have begun to make a more conscious effort towards a happier, peaceful, and more positive changes mentally, emotionally, and physically. At some point in a person’s life, they have to start making changes and sometimes that begins with a fresh start. So you might be wondering how can someone make a fresh start? What are some simple yet important changes a person can make to start that new beginning in life? Here are some simple ways a person can go about doing that.

• Accept change – Sometimes starting over means you are letting go of the person you used to be.
• Write a story about your past – It doesn’t have to be small or big. It can be something that has recently happened or happened years ago and you need to get it out.
• Talk to somebody – Tell someone in your life how you are feeling about your current life situation and see what they have to say about it. They could give you advice and tips on how to make a new fresh start.
• Accept defeat – This is a very tricky one for anyone including myself but sometimes it’s something that has to happen. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it’s not going to be easy but sometimes you have to accept what has happened and move on with your life.
• Make peace with your past – Accept all your past defeats and victories, past blunders, mistakes, and other things that have happened in your life. Let those stay in the past and leave it there.
• Make a journal – It doesn’t have to be a fancy journal but one that you can write down your thoughts, ideas, and what you want to see happen in the future. You can write the potential scenarios and what you want to see happen. Also write down what you think might happen. Write down all the changes you want to make in your life and then you can sometimes get a better picture of how to go about making those changes.

These are just a few ideas that one can look with trying to make a new and clean start. You don’t have to do any of these things but you can if you want. It’s okay to start fresh and clean. There’s nothing wrong with that at all, in fact I think it shows growth and determination towards a much happier, peaceful, and positive life. Leave the past behind you and move on and start with a new outlook. This is also an important act of self-care which is crucial for an individual at any stage of their lives for their mental, emotional, and physical state.

 

Reminders Of The Past

The past can be very painful for many people including myself. It can cause painful reminders of past events that have happened an individuals life that can cause them to relive past memories. While the past can be very painful, you can also learn from it. Throughout my life, I have made mistakes, hurt people, said things I didn’t mean, and other mistakes that have caused me and those in my life pain. The past is one of those things that can be very difficult to move on from especially for someone like me who has a tendency to overthink and feel anxious especially when past events come up during conversation or if I happen to come over something concerning to a past event. It can cause an individual to feel guilty, rethink the event or situation, and wonder if they could’ve done things differently.

While the past can hurt, it can also heal. The past is a very difficult thing but we learn from our mistakes. We can grow as human beings and mature emotionally, physically, and mentally. Growing up, I was always afraid of making mistakes but the older I got, I started to realize that making mistakes was all apart of life. Making mistakes is normal and we can’t attain a life of perfection because it’s technically impossible. It’s okay to make mistakes, we all do. It’s a part of life. But, what some people including myself struggle with is moving on after those mistakes are made and accepting the past and leaving the past behind them. It can be a very challenging and difficult thing to do but it is necessary in order for an individual to grow. Letting go of the past isn’t something that done overnight but it is something that takes little steps. It’s not something that is easily done but with time, patience, and acceptance it can be achieved.

Reminders of the past will always be there. It’s not like they can be erased and I honestly believe that we can look to the past and see how much we’ve grown. The past is haunting but it can also help us heal and move on with our lives. The past is many things and each of us have been shaped by the past events in our lives that have changed us mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Don’t let your past weigh you down. Don’t let your past stop you from living in the present and looking forward to the future.

Post Graduate Blues and Uncertainty

This is the time of year when people should be feeling carefree and happy. I mean it’s summertime! This time of year, people are going on new adventures, taking up new hobbies, catching up with old hobbies etc. But for some people, this time of year isn’t always so joyful especially for people who suffer from anxiety and depression. For example, I recently graduated from college with a bachelors in communication studies and now I am faced with finding a job in the real world. That has caused the last few weeks to be anxiety filled for someone like me. Every moment, I am going back and forth with feeling anxious about my future and job prospects and depression of not having reached my potential yet. The struggle that I am facing right now is similar to the struggles I faced when I was a senior in high school when I was unsure of my future. This is a normal thing to feel when you’re transitioning through different phases of your life. However, it can be a very difficult thing to adjust too especially if you have anxiety, depression, or any type of mental illness. It can be very unsettling at first as is this is how I’m feeling as of late. But, it’s normal to feel this way especially if you’re transitioning or going through a difficult time in your life and you’re not sure what is going to happen.

Change is hard. It’s very difficult for many people to accept that things are changing but change isn’t a bad thing. It can be a very good thing once an individual open their eyes to the process of change and how it can help them grow. Throughout my life, I have always struggle with this concept because it’s hard to change but it’s necessary for life. In order to grow mentally, physically, and emotionally, an individual must be open to change because that is the only way a person can grow.

The future is scary especially when you don’t know where you fit in, what you want to do, how you want to approach it and what you need to do to be able to achieve your goals. I am very anxious yet excited about the future hence why I have been feeling different emotions because of the uncertainty of what path I will chose.  Each person has to chose the path that they feel will best help them succeed in life. Sometimes, it’s not always easy and it can be difficult especially if the path that an individual chooses doesn’t work out for them like they thought it would. That’s what life is all about. Life isn’t easy, it’s very difficult to navigate through life especially when you’re transitioning as I am in that phase right of going from a college student to finding a job in the real world. It’s a very scary position to be in but I am trying to look at the positives and hold an outlook that will help succeed with future endeavors.

Final thought is that it’s okay to be scared of the future as I’ve learned. It’s normal for most people to feel uncertain about what the future has in store for them. I’m feeling that way as of now. I’m just not sure how to navigate through the twists and turns that the future and life has for me. I know that I will learn more life lessons with the path that I chose and while I fear change, I am also open to it because with change comes growth and I am always looking to be a better, stronger, and more aware individual.

Feelings of Emptiness

This image describes how I’ve been feeling as of late. The last few weeks have been really exhausting and difficult for me. How do you describe how you’re feeling if you don’t know how to explain it? This is often how I felt when I first began experiencing signs of depression and anxiety when I was in high school especially with the feeling of emptiness. You don’t know where it comes from but it’s there hanging over your head as a reminder of something that is missing but you can’t put your finger on it. It’s hard to place on why you feel empty thus the anxiety and depression began to rear it’s ugly head. Especially for someone like me who battles overthinking and when my mind goes into hyper drive it feels like the overthinking will never stop.

I don’t know why I’m feeling this way. But, it’s so hard to feel empty instead of experiencing different emotions that would explain why I’m feeling the way I am. I would like to feel anger, sadness and other emotions that would help me explain why I’m feeling this way. The feelings of emptiness are something that I wouldn’t wish on anyone because you can’t describe to others how you feel and get help. I just want to feel and I can’t get to that point and it’s so hard to try and justify the way I’m feeling not only to others but myself.

I just want to feel.

 

 

An Update On My Life Aka Why I’ve Been So Busy

As you’ve seen, I haven’t been very active with this blog and Twitter. There is a perfectly good reason for that and I figured I would update everyone on my life because I have been so productive, focused, and busy trying to stay focused on my goals and not letting anything distract me from that. I’m a senior in college, I will graduate in the spring and it’s been very stressful lately. Papers, assignments, speeches, and studying for my midterms and tests have taken over and I’ve been spending more of my time doing school work. I want to graduate on and time and I’m not letting anything hold me back.

The last few weeks, I have also been very happy and I have found myself being more productive with my time and using time management to my advantage which is something I used to struggle with. I have Anxiety here and there but for the most part, I am able to control and focus on what I need to do to get it done. I have been practicing self-care every day and taking care of myself and using mindfulness to help get through stressful things that come up and I’m pretty happy with myself.

Things in my personal and professional life have been going very well and I’ve been finding myself spending less time on social media unlike before. So, that is what I’ve been up to and I will be checking in here and there but for the most part, until these busy weeks die down I won’t be around as much. Much love to you all and just know I’m here for you. Stay focused and don’t let anyone get you done! ❤

Showing Your Emotions Doesn’t Make You Weak

This is something that I strongly agree with. All genders especially men should be able to show their emotions without shame and being judged for doing so. We are human and as humans we are embedded with emotions and we shouldn’t hold them in because that only causes more problems later on. People believe that showing your emotions especially if you’re a man is a weakness but it’s not. It’s a huge sign of strength and courage because you are willing to show those emotions and not hide from them. Showing emotions is all apart of being human and we shouldn’t judge people for sharing how they feel because in the long run, that is what we as humans do.

We live in a society that holds on to stigmas and the way things were during certain time periods. Men were always taught that showing your emotions and sharing how you feel was a weakness and they weren’t supposed to do that. Because of that, men keep their emotions to themselves because of the stigma surrounding it. Men were taught to be strong enough to handle their own emotions, but overtime it has changed though some people still believe that showing your emotions is a weakness. There is nothing more powerful than sharing how you feel and wanting others to know what emotions you are going through. That is a huge sign of strength and courage. This is something that needs to change because no one should have to hide their emotions because of how others perceive them. We all need to work together and help one another in this society because we don’t need to tear people down for taking the step and showing courage for sharing their emotions.

 

We Both Have Light & Dark In Us

We all have light and dark inside of us. It’s how we act on that is what truly defines us. There are situations where we are put to the test emotionally, physically, and mentally and ultimately our response is the outcome of our thought process and actions. Sometimes, our actions hold consequences we don’t always expect but I find  that learning from those actions and consequences can help us grow. It all depends on the situation but it all comes down to how we react. For example, if you find out that someone you trust gossiped about you, what would you do? Would you first think about the situation or would you react first? It all depends on how we perceive the situation. What would you do? Would you confront your friend and ask why they said things about you or would you retaliate in a different way? Sometimes, the darkness that consumes us with feelings of anger, spite, jealously, and feeling betrayed cloud our minds when we could first think about the situation and then figure out how to react.

How we react to situation says everything. Sometimes, we act before we think and there are different outcomes to both ways of thinking. If you react first, you may end up dealing with consequences that you don’t want or if you think about the situation that is presented to you, then you may have a different way of processing the situation and dealing with said situation. We all have a dark and light side to us and we react to situations in different ways but I firmly believe that both situations can help a person grow. How you react to situations often tells other people of maturity and the ability to rise above it. We are all human and we are prone to feeling different emotions and our thought processes our different, that’s what makes us unique. Thinking before you act can ultimately help you see a different side to things and also help your thought process become more clear. It’s all about how you perceive the situation and like the quote says, it’s all about how we decide to use that light or darkness.

I Wear My Demons On My Sleeve

Looking in the mirror, you look at yourself and you see a simple yet complex person. You more you look, the more flaws you see. The more you think, believe, and wonder if those thoughts in your head are true. That is how I live every day, somedays it’s easy, other days I have to force myself to do things even get out of bed, take a shower, make my bed, and other every day things many people find easy to do. My demons are there haunting me and watching my every move knowing when the right opportunity to strike. Sometimes, I can shake them off with positive thinking and affirmations but other times I can’t. They make me want to crawl in bed and sleep and try and forget them but as soon as I wake they are there. Somedays, I struggle and I make excuses for not doing things and that’s when people think I’m lazy, anti-social, and I never want to do anything fun. They don’t understand or know what it’s like. One minute, I’m fine and the next minute I want to scream until the demons stop and then cry because it’s taking everything in me to make it through the day.

Days I just sit in my room and cry because I am at my breaking point, I’ve hit that point of no return and the point of which I wonder if recovery is even doing me any good. Other days, I’m not like that. It’s a never ending struggle and that’s the thing that many people don’t get. It’s not like I made this decision, it’s a disorder, a chemical imbalance in my brain, and it’s not like I can just snap out of it and return to normal life and never have these feelings. It doesn’t just go away. It’s not that simple and that’s why it’s so hard for me sometimes. That’s why I hate making plans, that’s why I hate upsetting someone. It’s why I wear my demons on my sleeve because they are always there reminding me that they will never go away no matter what I do.

This is my life, my struggles, my battles but I won’t let them define me. I have my good and bad days like anyone else but I’m better, braver, and stronger than my demons.

 

Your Jokes Are Our Struggles, Battles, and Illnesses

Ignorance plain and simple is the lack of knowledge or information about a certain issue. What issue am I talking about? Mental Illnesses and the stigma that associates with it. When you joke about OCD, Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar, & other mental illnesses you are contributing to the stigma.   They are offensive, inappropriate, insulting, and hurtful. It’s not about being too sensitive, it’s mocking those who experienced the trauma people find funny. It’s not funny or a joke. It’s not about us being too sensitive that we can’t handle a joke. These are issues that no one should ever joke about. These are real issues just like anything else that is physically seen. This is why there is stigma and there needs to be education within the Mental Health system. Those who struggle with a Mental Illness shouldn’t have their struggles taken as a joke but it is and that’s the sad reality.

Turning them into a joke or fashion trend is not funny and lacks decency on so many levels. If people just took the time to understand Mental Illnesses and how jokes can seriously impact a person’s life. Our struggles aren’t funny, hurtful, and disrespectful and cause many people to believe that we in the Mental Health community are just seeking attention when that is not the case.Ignorance is ignorance, those who lack the knowledge and understanding on this matter simply need to step back and take a look at themselves and simply understand that not all wounds are visible. It’s as simple as that.

Our illnesses aren’t made for jokes. They are real and our struggles don’t define us. Your jokes are contributing to the stigma and that is simply not okay.

Anxiety Is Like…

Be drowned in a flood of emotions and thoughts that don’t make sense. 

An endless up and down rollercoaster that seems to go nowhere but only causes you more frustration and agony. 

Being a prisoner of your own mind where you can’t make sense of what is rational and irrational. 

One minute you’re fine and the next minute you’re shaking back and forth, palms are sweating, and you don’t know what to do. 

As though you’re stuck in a rocking chair that seems to never let up and keeps going faster and faster. 

The more I think about Anxiety, the more anxious I get. Many people don’t understand why Anxiety is so bad for many of us. They don’t understand the fears, worries, and thoughts that plague us day in and day out. Our thought process is different than others, we can’t just shut things down or turn them out. It doesn’t work that way and if we were to educate others on this fact, maybe things would be different. If a person accepts a situation as is and moves on with their life, that is fine but a person with anxiety feels the opposite. That’s when the mind because of a prison because that’s all the person can think about. It can’t shut itself down and even it could, it wouldn’t solve the problem at hand. Anxiety is a sense is like the never ending cycle of never knowing the true outcome a situation because of the constant nagging feeling of what could’ve been. It’s not that we as the individual can’t accept the situation, it’s our thought process and how our brains are wired to handle situations.

Anxiety is not a joke and when people joke about it or slam it, they are becoming a part of the stigma.