An Update On My Life Aka Why I’ve Been So Busy

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As you’ve seen, I haven’t been very active with this blog and Twitter. There is a perfectly good reason for that and I figured I would update everyone on my life because I have been so productive, focused, and busy trying to stay focused on my goals and not letting anything distract me from that. I’m a senior in college, I will graduate in the spring and it’s been very stressful lately. Papers, assignments, speeches, and studying for my midterms and tests have taken over and I’ve been spending more of my time doing school work. I want to graduate on and time and I’m not letting anything hold me back.

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The last few weeks, I have also been very happy and I have found myself being more productive with my time and using time management to my advantage which is something I used to struggle with. I have Anxiety here and there but for the most part, I am able to control and focus on what I need to do to get it done. I have been practicing self-care every day and taking care of myself and using mindfulness to help get through stressful things that come up and I’m pretty happy with myself.

Things in my personal and professional life have been going very well and I’ve been finding myself spending less time on social media unlike before. So, that is what I’ve been up to and I will be checking in here and there but for the most part, until these busy weeks die down I won’t be around as much. Much love to you all and just know I’m here for you. Stay focused and don’t let anyone get you done! ❤

Showing Your Emotions Doesn’t Make You Weak

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This is something that I strongly agree with. All genders especially men should be able to show their emotions without shame and being judged for doing so. We are human and as humans we are embedded with emotions and we shouldn’t hold them in because that only causes more problems later on. People believe that showing your emotions especially if you’re a man is a weakness but it’s not. It’s a huge sign of strength and courage because you are willing to show those emotions and not hide from them. Showing emotions is all apart of being human and we shouldn’t judge people for sharing how they feel because in the long run, that is what we as humans do.

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We live in a society that holds on to stigmas and the way things were during certain time periods. Men were always taught that showing your emotions and sharing how you feel was a weakness and they weren’t supposed to do that. Because of that, men keep their emotions to themselves because of the stigma surrounding it. Men were taught to be strong enough to handle their own emotions, but overtime it has changed though some people still believe that showing your emotions is a weakness. There is nothing more powerful than sharing how you feel and wanting others to know what emotions you are going through. That is a huge sign of strength and courage. This is something that needs to change because no one should have to hide their emotions because of how others perceive them. We all need to work together and help one another in this society because we don’t need to tear people down for taking the step and showing courage for sharing their emotions.

 

We Both Have Light & Dark In Us

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We all have light and dark inside of us. It’s how we act on that is what truly defines us. There are situations where we are put to the test emotionally, physically, and mentally and ultimately our response is the outcome of our thought process and actions. Sometimes, our actions hold consequences we don’t always expect but I find  that learning from those actions and consequences can help us grow. It all depends on the situation but it all comes down to how we react. For example, if you find out that someone you trust gossiped about you, what would you do? Would you first think about the situation or would you react first? It all depends on how we perceive the situation. What would you do? Would you confront your friend and ask why they said things about you or would you retaliate in a different way? Sometimes, the darkness that consumes us with feelings of anger, spite, jealously, and feeling betrayed cloud our minds when we could first think about the situation and then figure out how to react.

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How we react to situation says everything. Sometimes, we act before we think and there are different outcomes to both ways of thinking. If you react first, you may end up dealing with consequences that you don’t want or if you think about the situation that is presented to you, then you may have a different way of processing the situation and dealing with said situation. We all have a dark and light side to us and we react to situations in different ways but I firmly believe that both situations can help a person grow. How you react to situations often tells other people of maturity and the ability to rise above it. We are all human and we are prone to feeling different emotions and our thought processes our different, that’s what makes us unique. Thinking before you act can ultimately help you see a different side to things and also help your thought process become more clear. It’s all about how you perceive the situation and like the quote says, it’s all about how we decide to use that light or darkness.

I Wear My Demons On My Sleeve

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Looking in the mirror, you look at yourself and you see a simple yet complex person. You more you look, the more flaws you see. The more you think, believe, and wonder if those thoughts in your head are true. That is how I live every day, somedays it’s easy, other days I have to force myself to do things even get out of bed, take a shower, make my bed, and other every day things many people find easy to do. My demons are there haunting me and watching my every move knowing when the right opportunity to strike. Sometimes, I can shake them off with positive thinking and affirmations but other times I can’t. They make me want to crawl in bed and sleep and try and forget them but as soon as I wake they are there. Somedays, I struggle and I make excuses for not doing things and that’s when people think I’m lazy, anti-social, and I never want to do anything fun. They don’t understand or know what it’s like. One minute, I’m fine and the next minute I want to scream until the demons stop and then cry because it’s taking everything in me to make it through the day.

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Days I just sit in my room and cry because I am at my breaking point, I’ve hit that point of no return and the point of which I wonder if recovery is even doing me any good. Other days, I’m not like that. It’s a never ending struggle and that’s the thing that many people don’t get. It’s not like I made this decision, it’s a disorder, a chemical imbalance in my brain, and it’s not like I can just snap out of it and return to normal life and never have these feelings. It doesn’t just go away. It’s not that simple and that’s why it’s so hard for me sometimes. That’s why I hate making plans, that’s why I hate upsetting someone. It’s why I wear my demons on my sleeve because they are always there reminding me that they will never go away no matter what I do.

This is my life, my struggles, my battles but I won’t let them define me. I have my good and bad days like anyone else but I’m better, braver, and stronger than my demons.

 

Your Jokes Are Our Struggles, Battles, and Illnesses

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Ignorance plain and simple is the lack of knowledge or information about a certain issue. What issue am I talking about? Mental Illnesses and the stigma that associates with it. When you joke about OCD, Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar, & other mental illnesses you are contributing to the stigma.   They are offensive, inappropriate, insulting, and hurtful. It’s not about being too sensitive, it’s mocking those who experienced the trauma people find funny. It’s not funny or a joke. It’s not about us being too sensitive that we can’t handle a joke. These are issues that no one should ever joke about. These are real issues just like anything else that is physically seen. This is why there is stigma and there needs to be education within the Mental Health system. Those who struggle with a Mental Illness shouldn’t have their struggles taken as a joke but it is and that’s the sad reality.

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Turning them into a joke or fashion trend is not funny and lacks decency on so many levels. If people just took the time to understand Mental Illnesses and how jokes can seriously impact a person’s life. Our struggles aren’t funny, hurtful, and disrespectful and cause many people to believe that we in the Mental Health community are just seeking attention when that is not the case.Ignorance is ignorance, those who lack the knowledge and understanding on this matter simply need to step back and take a look at themselves and simply understand that not all wounds are visible. It’s as simple as that.

Our illnesses aren’t made for jokes. They are real and our struggles don’t define us. Your jokes are contributing to the stigma and that is simply not okay.

Anxiety Is Like…

Be drowned in a flood of emotions and thoughts that don’t make sense. 

An endless up and down rollercoaster that seems to go nowhere but only causes you more frustration and agony. 

Being a prisoner of your own mind where you can’t make sense of what is rational and irrational. 

One minute you’re fine and the next minute you’re shaking back and forth, palms are sweating, and you don’t know what to do. 

As though you’re stuck in a rocking chair that seems to never let up and keeps going faster and faster. 

The more I think about Anxiety, the more anxious I get. Many people don’t understand why Anxiety is so bad for many of us. They don’t understand the fears, worries, and thoughts that plague us day in and day out. Our thought process is different than others, we can’t just shut things down or turn them out. It doesn’t work that way and if we were to educate others on this fact, maybe things would be different. If a person accepts a situation as is and moves on with their life, that is fine but a person with anxiety feels the opposite. That’s when the mind because of a prison because that’s all the person can think about. It can’t shut itself down and even it could, it wouldn’t solve the problem at hand. Anxiety is a sense is like the never ending cycle of never knowing the true outcome a situation because of the constant nagging feeling of what could’ve been. It’s not that we as the individual can’t accept the situation, it’s our thought process and how our brains are wired to handle situations.

Anxiety is not a joke and when people joke about it or slam it, they are becoming a part of the stigma.

Is There Such A Thing As Being Too Soft?

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What does softness mean? Because of depending on the context of the word and how it’s used, it doesn’t have to mean the same thing. We live in a society where violence is seen day in and day out and sometimes it’s hard to stay positive, optimistic, and soft. Some people view softness as a weakness but to me and many others, it’s a strength. We are human and as individuals, we are embedded with emotions, some of which are considered a weakness when in reality, they make us stronger. Being able to handle the cruelty of everything that we see in our society and it not breaking us is the ultimate strength. The strength to see the bright side, to always look for the positives and to remain soft is something that should be cherished and looked up to because that shows the ultimate strength.

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Having a soft heart is seen as a weakness but there is nothing weak about having a heart that shows softness, empathy, and a willingness to see the light in such a dark world. We have so much negativity in our world that being soft is under appreciated or seen as a weakness when in reality, it is the biggest strength a person can have. It takes everything to stay in the light when darkness is all that surrounds us. To answer the question, there is no direct answer but I believe softness is not a weakness, it can be a person’s biggest strength.